Who am I?
I’d like to think you’ll get to know me better by simply visiting my humble home on the internet and while there is some truth to that I know many simply want quick specifics. While I don’t care to share my age or gender or color (thus potentially and immediately biasing your perception of me) I will tell you I live in the Pacific Northwest, I am a home owner, I am married, I have five cats, I’ve struggled with chronic Lyme disease for over fifteen years, and I prefer reading a good book to being surrounded by people. Other than that what can I tell you? The disease for which I’ve refered to has made me loose any true sense of “myself”, something I had with perfect clarity most of my life, and the countless struggles I’ve had in this life including but not limited to suicidal depression as well as more than my fair share of emotionally abusive (and in at least one case, physically abusive) relationships have only distanced me that much farther from what I’d consider my “true self.” So who am I? I’m the one writing this blog and in that your perception of me will be more about you and that is simply the nature of things.
What is The Temple of the Green Pygmies?
A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away I started my first blog. This was way back in the days where the term “blog” much less “blogger” did not exist and I, for one, hated the term “blog” when it did finally come into being. I was just one lonely being spending a portion of my days sitting at a computer trying to reach out to the world and be heard. Back then I was frequently critisized for it, called eccentric and narcastic, but since Online Journals have become ubiquitious I’m just another voice lost in an ocean of voices. But I digress. I’ve always been a bit of an oddball (I suppose eccentric does fit) so when the time came to pick a name for my site I ended up going with something quirky, a Monty Python slash Black Adder inspired mash also influenced by my interest in Easter religion and philosophy (specifically Budhism and in particular Zen Budhism). Ultimately it was a playful name, not meant to be entirely forethcoming, something meant to attract the attention of the inquisitive, curious, and desirous of one day becoming enlightened.
What is a Green Pygmie?
Pending…this was one of the few texts from the old site that I want to use again as it was poetic and if I say so so pretty damn good writing 🙂
Why did I stop writing?
For the first ten to twelve years of my struggle with Lyme I didn’t know what I had, all I knew is that my health every so imperceptively went down hill until I hit the point I could barely function. I was in extreme pain. I could barely think. I literally felt like I was dying. And if you told me then that I’d be alive today I would have laughed. So while I once wrote every day it soon became every other day and eventually once a week until I realized every post consisted of me saying, “I’m sorry I haven’t written in awhile but I feel like shit, blah, blah, blah,” and on rereading the post realized I’d said nothing of consequence given how overwhelmed I was by my physical condition.
Another reason worth sharing is that I’d been through so many abusive friendships and relationships, been taken for more than my share of joy rides, that I started feeling like nothing I had to say mattered anymore. Add in internet stalkers and it’s just a recipe for not writing. Add Lyme, and well, there you have it.
I’m back. That’s all that matters.
What is the (new) purpose of this website?
I’ve spent the last year or so asking myself if I wanted to bring The Temple back and ultimately, after some deep soul searching, decided it was the time. Would it be the same as the old one? In some ways I’m sure. But I’m a very different person. And while before the site was largely focused on self inspection and radical honesty it was during a time I had a solid handle on who I was and what I was about. The experiences of my thirties and early forties left me asking myself a simple question, “Who the fuck am I?” And to be frank, it frightens the hell out of me given just how in touch with myself I’ve always been. So the first reason is to find myself again. And to do that I need to find my voice. Again.
Other reasons include but are not limited to: Having a place to express my thoughts, ideas, opinions, and feelings where other outlets aren’t sufficient or useful. Having a place to share my autobiography. Having a place to share my art (if/when I get back into it). Having a place to take another step towards practicing radical honestly at a level I’ve never taken it before. Creating a single space where I can be absolutely, 100% myself without feeling boxed in by society, family, friends, or myself. I’m sure over time the site and its purpose will evolve; stay tuned.
Why WordPress instead of the old site’s look and feel?
My original site was all hand written HTML and ASP.NET scripts. I wrote every page by hand, uploaded them via FTP, and proof read them on site. As my Lyme got worse this became cumbersome so I started looking at other web host providers and tools and landed on WordPress—while I agree with many it has its limitations and problems, for most straight forward sites I found it easy to use and manage. I like the ability to easily change the look and feel of a site until it’s “just right” and likewise that a WordPress site (if one is using the right theme at least) is automatically formatted for viewing on cell phones and tablets. That said, I can one day see the L&F evolving to look just like a green on black Apple II screen with low res fonts just like them olden-golden days when having a color monitor was the shit. We’ll get there!
Who do I expect to be reading this?
I honestly don’t know. In fact, I don’t care if anyone reads it. I’m writing completely for me this time around. What I do know is what kind of people I want reading this and it really comes down to this: You’re open minded, empathetic, and focused on self-improvement. Oh yeah, a good listener to boot. Think you’re up to meeting this challenge?
What are the rules?
Why am I using categories?
Categories are another way I plan to keep focus. Whether it be politics, culture, autobiographical, each type is intended to keep me on track, writing towards different goals, perhaps different audiences. It will also allow you as a reader to determine what kind of content you’re interested in. Would you rather read about my past? Or my opinions on scientific inquiry? Ideas I have for improving the world? I know I tend to ramble so bring the categories on!
What the hell is with the “How to Think” category?
Why radical honesty?
For this bullet point I’m going to be lazy and point you to this site: Radical Honesty
Why a legal disclaimer?
As a result of being radically honest there may come times where I tell stories of my past that may have the unintended consequence of offending said someone who I may or may not be referring to. As I’ve experiencing in my past blogging, some people do not like to hear the truth, no matter how factual, which creates a level of cognitive dissonance between me trying to be honest to a fault and readers who may become offended because the world view they’ve lovingly wrapped themselves in does not match the one I’m aware of. So to cover my proverbial ass there will be a legal disclaimer which will in part cover the legal concepts of slander and libel. And for the record I have absolutely zero intentions of slandering or libeling anyone, but I have every intention of telling the truth and when possible and/or appropriate backing it up with objective fact.
What to do if you get offended?
Take a breath. Give yourself a hug. Count to ten. Ask yourself if it’s really worth it. Maybe grow a bit as you experience that muscle stretching feeling the comes along with opening your view of reality a bit more. Same goes for me.
What constitutes a “good” comment/reply?
If for whatever reason you feel the need to comment on my posts think about it first. If you’re just responding to be a whiny bitch then please, don’t waste your time. I want thoughtful, intelligent, critical comments. Build the conversation. Flamers go home.